


A Thrill of Hope

by thejollymilano



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan - Freeform, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Gen, Merry Christmas folks, OUAT Christmas, just some fluff for y'all on this holly jolly day (even if i am late in posting this oops), yeah there's slight angst because it's me but there's a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 11:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17181902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejollymilano/pseuds/thejollymilano
Summary: Emma struggles with keeping her walls down for her first family Christmas, when she begins doubting her place in their “perfect, happy” family. Fortunately, a certain ex-Pirate Captain is there to reinforce her hope.





	A Thrill of Hope

For as long as she remembered, Emma Swan was alone. She spent her days fending for herself and her holidays weren't exactly " _merry and bright_ " as it was for many others. She never imagined to have friends to share gifts with, or a family to eat Christmas dinner with - less than she expected to be a "Savior" for a town of fairy tale folk,  _slay a freaking dragon_ , find her sons and parents, and fall in love. Being a part of a family, being happy was never in the cards for the Savior ... Or so she thought.

In only a short two years since she had found the quaint town, she managed to check the boxes of all listed above; now came the real challenge. Christmas time with said family.

Mary Margaret and Granny were busy making the turkey, David was talking to Archie and Ruby while watching the dwarves from the corner of his eye to make sure they wouldn't cause a ruckus, and Killian was helping Henry with decorations while Emma and Regina were standing off to the side, bewildered at the whole ordeal.

“This whole thing is pretty funny if you think about it," Emma chuckled as she watched Killian struggle with the 'bloody fairy lights.'

“What is?" Regina lifted her eyebrow as she took a delicate sip from her wine glass.

“I'm about to have  _Christmas dinner_  with  _Snow White_ , Prince Charming, Little Red Riding Hood, Jiminey Cricket, seven dwarves, my boyfriend who just so happens to be  _Captain Hook,_ " Emma laughed while Regina realized where she was going with this and chuckled, too. "And the ex-Evil Queen is lounging around, sipping wine with me."

"Well, you said you wanted a family, right?" Mayor Mills smiled broadly and nodded her head to the throng of fairy tale characters. “What do you think?”

“I think this will do it,” Emma grinned, but it faltered as she scanned the crowd again and felt her heart hammer in her chest. She had never done this before. What if she messed up or did the wrong thing? What if she makes a fool of herself? What if they realize how broken she is and deem her not worthy of their “ _perfect, happ_ y” family?

Before her thoughts could further drag out her anxiety, Killian came up to her with furrowed eyebrows and a mad grin, and Regina took that as her cue to find Robin. 

“This world never ceases to astound me, Swan. Look at these fascinating little trinkets Henry was showing me. Although I have to say, they don’t look anything like crackers to me,” He handed her a Christmas Cracker, and Emma nearly forgot all her troubles as she fought back a threatening fit of laughter. Shehad hoped that her smile would be a mask to hide away the inner conflict that was raging inside her; Killian, of course, saw right through her. “Are you alright, Swan?”

“Yeah,” She winced at how high her voice sounded. Her eyes darted around the room quickly, looking for a good excuse before meeting his vibrant eyes. “Of course. It’s just that with seven dwarves, an ex-pirate and evil queen and several fairy tale idols, an accident is bound to happen at some point.”

His eyes studied hers for several long moments, and Emma felt herself drifting into them and her walls that were on the verge of rebuilding were slowly crumbling down once again because, damn, his eyes were  _so_ blue and could see through her. He opened his mouth, about to say something when Granny strode into the lofts living room.

“Alright, you hungry wolves,” Ruby visibly snorted at her Grandmothers pun. “Bring it in, dinners ready.”

As the sea of characters began making their way to the long table that was set out, Killian gently grabbed her hand, murmuring into her ear, “We’ll talk later.”

Dinner itself was a whole other ordeal - how was she supposed to put on a joyous smile and continue Mary Margaret’s chatter while she was internally battling herself. However, she forced herself to calm down when she noticed how comfortable Henry was. She may be getting used to the idea of being in a family, and she may not have had this experience growing up, but she’d be damn sure that her son wouldn’t go through what she did. So with a final deep breath, she put on a real smile as she talked to Henry and made easy conversation with her father and Ruby.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Killian, who was sitting across from her and Henry, was casting knowing, skeptical glances her way. He knew. He always knew.

“Everyone,” David cleared his throat out as he and Mary Margaret stood up, effectively silencing the throng.

“We would just like to thank everyone for coming out,” Snow beamed. “We know it hasn’t been an easy year, but I know that none of us could have gone through it without each other. Merry Christmas,” She raised her glass, and David followed suit.

“And here’s a year  _without_ any witches or snow queens,” He added his two bits in as they cheered and drank their champagne - for Henry, his soda.

As they all made their way to the living room to chatter and prepare for gifts once their plates were cleared, Killian pulled Emma aside and they stepped out the front door to gain some privacy from the loft full of people.

“What’s going on, Swan?” He questioned gently, intertwining his hand with hers as a gesture of silent support.

"Killian," She shook her head. "I don't think now is -"

"You don't have to hide away your emotions, Emma. I'm here for you, love. Your family is here for you - whatever it is, you don't have to face it alone," He gave her hand a gentle squeeze when a sudden look of understatement dawned on his face. "That's what you're afraid of: your family, or rather, loosing them, I gather.”

Emma exhaled deeply and broke eye contact to collect her thoughts before looking up again, “Two years ago, I had no one, okay? Nobody. I was on my own, working as a bail bondswoman. Then Henry found me, brought me here, and last year I’m pretty sure we missed Christmas because we were stuck in the Enchanted Forest, kicking your and Cora’s asses-”

“Uncalled for, but carry on,” He piped in.

“This is my first Christmas with a family,” She finally let out, her voice wavering slightly. “And I can’t help but think what if I’m not good enough to be deemed worthy of their perfect, fairy tale family?  _I’ve never done this before_.”

Her eyes welled up with tears, and she felt heat rise to her cheeks, but she  _would not cry._ Killian let a few moments go by for her to breathe, before he quietly spoke up, “I’ve never done this before either. Although I could never understand what you went through growing up, I do understand how you feel right now. But Emma, listen to me, love,” He gently grabbed her chin and titled her head so her eyes met his. “Those people in there, as loud and unexpected as they may be, they  _are_ your family. And just like me, they’re in this for the long haul. There’s nothing you could ever do that could change how they think and feel about you, believe me. I have yet to see you fail,” He repeated with a nostalgic glint in his eyes. “You’re not alone anymore, Swan.”

Emma felt her heart shatter and swell all at the same time, and she thought ‘ _screw it,_ ’ before letting the dam holding back the tears collapse. Without hesitation, strong arms wrapped around her and she nestled her nose into his neck.

“Neither are you,” Her voice cracked and she could almost feel the smile on his lips as he dug his nose into her hair.

After a while, Emma felt her nerves calm down and she nervously scratching her nose once they parted. Killian gave her a small smile as he wiped her eyes dry before leaning down. She met his lips halfway and they kissed briefly but passionately, and in that moment, she had no doubts.

They made their way back inside, and saw that everyone was captivated by an over exaggerated story that Leroy was sharing about an accident in the mines back when they lived in the Enchanted Forest. They walked in just as everyone started laughing, while Sleepy was exasperatedly saying that it “wasn’t his fault he was feeling sleepy and forgot to secure the cart.” 

“Ah, there you two are,” Snow smiled brightly when Emma and Killian approached them, and Emma noticed with a roll of her eyes how David broadened his shoulders a little more at the implication. Just in time, we were about to start exchanging gifts!”

Emma had just enough time to flash her a quick smile before her mother buzzed off, leaving them all gaping in her enthusiasm. 

By the end of the night, Emma had aquainted a new knitted sweater from Granny, a belt for her sword from David, an old fashioned copy of The Ugly Duckling from Henry, a silver necklace with an anchor pendant from Killian, and several mini inventions from each of the dwarves. She sat there, laughing with them all with a full heart from being in their company, seeing Henry’s excitment when he saw the new collection of Harry Potter books he gave her - but more deeply, from knowing that no one in that room was looking at her any differently.

She did it. She had survived her first family Christmas.

And she silently hoped that any more witches, snow queens or other noteable villains could hold out during the holidays so that she could do this all over again.

**_THE END._ **


End file.
